Today was the first day that I was able to have yogurt. It was like I was given a golden ticket. The hard part was deciding which flavor would be my first taste. If it didn't go well and I picked my favorite flavor I may never be able to eat it again, on the other hand if it did go well I wanted to have something that I really liked. Sounds like an easy decision, but I struggled. In the end I decided to try a red velvet cake yoplait light yogurt. It tasted delicious and settled with no problem.
I never realized what kind of relationship I've had with food. It has not been a healthy one that is for sure. I love food. The taste, the smell, the feel of it in my mouth. Cooking it. I love food!!! I have to rethink this relationship if I want and expect this this to work.(And I do!) I need to look at food as a way to nourish my body and survive. It is not a prize, a comfort, or a reward. This is going to be a learning experience. But I am a good student and I will learn this lesson.
The good thing for me is that now I know what it feels like to be full. I never recognized that feeling before. I ate until I was so full that I was in pain. My stomach would hurt so much after a meal, it was like everyday was thanksgiving. I ate because I was bored. I ate because I was stressed. I ate because I felt bad. I ate because I didn't want food to go to waste. I ate for stupid reasons. I never really ate because I was hungry. Now I know what it's like to feel hungry.
It's funny, the things that I discover about myself as I go day to day. I expected this to be a physical transformation, but I didn't expect to discover these new things about me. I guess that is why this is a journey.